HOMILY: "HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER" Exodus 20:12, Psalm 128, Ephesians 6:1-4, Luke 2:41-52
"HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER"
Exodus 20:12, Psalm 128, Ephesians 6:1-4, Luke 2:41-52
1. Introduction: The Cry of Ageing Parents
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Today, we
reflect on a painful and urgent reality in our society:
Many parents sacrifice their whole life for their children…
But when they grow old, weak, and dependent, they are neglected.
Parents who
once carried their children in their arms
Now struggle to walk alone.
Parents who once stayed awake all night
Now wait for a phone call that never comes.
This is not
just a social issue.
It is a spiritual issue.
It is a commandment issue.
It is a salvation issue.
If parents
are neglected in their old age, who will care for them?
If children forget their parents, how can they expect their own children to
remember them?
Today’s
homily is a call to conscience.
A call to gratitude.
A call to responsibility.
2. The Biblical Foundation: God’s Command
2.1 The Fourth Commandment
In the Book
of Exodus 20:12, we read:
“Honour
your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land.”
This is not
a suggestion.
It is a commandment.
Among the
Ten Commandments, this is the first commandment with a promise.
God
attaches a blessing to it:
- Long life
- Stability
- Prosperity
To dishonour
parents is to dishonour God Himself, because parents are God’s visible
representatives in giving us life.
2.2 Jesus and His Obedience to Parents
In the Gospel
of Luke 2:51, we read about Jesus Christ:
“He went
down with them and was obedient to them.”
The Son of
God, Creator of the universe, obeyed His earthly parents.
If Jesus
respected Mary and Joseph, who are we to disrespect our parents?
2.3 Condemnation of Neglect
In the Gospel
of Mark 7:10–13, Jesus condemns those who used religious excuses to avoid
supporting their parents.
He strongly
rebuked them.
Religion
that ignores parents is false religion.
2.4 Care for Parents Is True Religion
Epistle of
James 1:27 says:
“Religion
that is pure and undefiled before God is this: to care…”
If caring
for strangers is pure religion, how much more caring for parents!
2.5 The Wisdom of Sirach
In Book of
Sirach 3:12–14:
“My child,
help your father in his old age… Even if his mind fails, be patient with him.”
This
passage speaks directly to today’s situation:
- Old age weakness
- Memory loss
- Irritability
- Dependency
God
commands patience, not abandonment.
3. Parents: God’s First Gift to us
Before:
- School teachers
- Spiritual directors
- Employers
- Spouses
There were
parents.
They are:
- The first teachers
- The first protectors
- The first providers
- The first image of God we experience
We cannot
choose our parents.
But God chose them for us.
4. What Parents Sacrifice
Let us
reflect:
- A mother carries the child for nine months.
- A father works under the hot sun to provide.
- Parents skip meals so children can eat.
- Parents sell property for education.
- Parents endure humiliation to give children a future.
Yet when
children begin earning:
- Parents become a “burden.”
- Parents become “old-fashioned.”
- Parents are sent to old-age homes.
This is not
progress.
This is moral collapse.
5. Spiritual Diagnosis: Why do Children Neglect Parents?
5.1 Selfish Individualism
Modern
culture teaches:
“My life. My freedom. My comfort.”
But
Christian life teaches:
“Love. Sacrifice. Responsibility.”
5.2 Influence of Materialism
Money
becomes the new god.
Parents become obstacles to comfort.
But what
profit is it to gain the world and lose one’s soul?
5.3 Marital Pressure
Sometimes a
spouse's influence leads to distancing from parents.
But
marriage does not cancel the Fourth Commandment.
“Leave
father and mother” in marriage does not mean “abandon father and mother.”
6. Consequences of Neglecting Parents
6.1 Spiritual Consequences
Dishonouring
parents is a sin.
Unrepented
sin blocks grace.
6.2 Social Consequences
Children
learn from example.
If they see
neglect, they will repeat it.
The cycle
continues.
6.3 Emotional Consequences
An elderly
parent’s greatest pain is not physical illness.
It is
loneliness.
Loneliness
kills faster than disease.
7. Illustrations
Illustration 1: The Old Father at the Table
An elderly
father’s hands trembled while eating.
His son and daughter-in-law felt embarrassed.
They gave him a separate small table in the corner.
One day,
their little child was building a small wooden table.
When asked
why, he said:
“I am making it for you when you become old.”
Children
learn by watching.
Illustration 2: The Forgotten Mother
An old
mother waits daily near the gate for her son’s visit.
He sends money, but never time.
Parents
need presence more than presents.
8. What does Honouring Parents mean practically?
It means:
- Respect in speech
No harsh words. - Emotional presence
Visit them. Call them. - Financial support
Ensure dignity. - Medical care
Do not delay treatment. - Patience in weakness
Old age is second childhood. - Defend them publicly
Never insult them in front of others.
9. The Church as an Operation Theatre
The Church
is not a museum of perfect people.
It is an operation theater where sinners come for healing.
If someone
has neglected parents:
Come back.
Repent.
Repair.
God’s Word
today is spiritual treatment.
Let it heal family wounds.
Let it
restore relationships.
10. Self-Examination
- Do I speak respectfully to my parents?
- Do I support them materially?
- Do I spend time with them?
- Have I hurt them?
- If they die today, will I regret anything?
Examine
your conscience.
11. A Message to Parents
Dear
parents:
Your
sacrifices are seen by God.
Even if
children forget,
God does not forget.
Your tears
are recorded in heaven.
Pray for
your children.
Do not curse them.
Bless them.
12. A Message to Young People
You are
strong today.
You earn today.
You decide today.
But one
day:
You will be old.
You will be weak.
You will depend on someone.
Sow respect
today to reap respect tomorrow.
13. The Example of the Holy Family
Look at
Joseph, Mary, and Jesus Christ.
The Holy
Family teaches:
- Unity
- Mutual care
- Obedience
- Love
Let every
Christian family imitate them.
14. Pastoral Suggestions
Encourage:
- Family prayer together.
- Monthly family meal with parents.
- Financial planning, including parental
care.
- Parish visits to the elderly.
- Support groups for ageing parents.
15. The Wisdom of the Saints: A Voice Across the Ages
The saints
of the Church consistently taught that honouring parents is not optional — it
is sacred.
Augustine of Hippo
Saint
Augustine reminds us:
“God gave
you your parents so that through them you may first learn what love is.”
Before we
knew theology, we knew our mother’s embrace.
Before we understood sacrifice, we saw our father’s labour.
To despise
parents is to despise the first school of love.
John Chrysostom
He preached
powerfully:
“He who dishonours
his parents will not escape accountability before God.”
Christian
faith is not proven in public prayer alone.
It is proven at home — in how we treat our parents.
Saint Teresa of Calcutta
She said:
“Love
begins at home.”
If we
cannot love the parents who raised us,
How can we claim to love humanity?
John Paul
II
History
tells us that John Paul II deeply honoured his parents throughout his
life.
Even after becoming Pope, he frequently spoke about the faith and sacrifice of
his father, who shaped his spiritual foundation.
Great
saints never forgot their roots.
Caring for
parents is not charity.
It is justice.
It is gratitude.
It is obedience to God.
When we
care for our ageing parents:
We are caring for Christ Himself.
16. Conclusion
My dear
brothers and sisters,
One day,
the phone will stop ringing.
One day, the chair in the corner will be empty.
One day, the hands that blessed you will be still.
And on that
day, no amount of money, success, or position will bring your parents back.
Do not wait
for a funeral to say, “I should have done more.”
Honour them
now.
Love them now.
Visit them now.
Care for them now.
Because the
way you treat your parents
is the way you are treating God.
The Fourth
Commandment is not about control.
It is about gratitude.
It is about memory.
It is about love in action.
If we
restore honour in our homes,
God will restore blessings in our land.
Let us not
build big houses
while our parents sit alone in small rooms.
Let us not
become successful in society
and failures in our own families.
Today is
the day to decide.
Today is the day to return.
Today is the day to repair.
17. Final Appeal
Before you
sleep tonight, ask yourself:
When was
the last time I truly listened to my parents?
Not
corrected them.
Not argued with them.
But listened.
They once
listened to your broken sentences.
They celebrated your first words.
Now they struggle to complete theirs.
Time is
short.
Do not let
regret become your inheritance.
18. Prayer
Heavenly
Father,
You are the
source of life and love.
Through our parents, You gave us existence, protection, and care.
Forgive us
for every moment we failed to honour them.
Heal wounded relationships.
Restore unity in families.
Bless all
parents — especially the elderly, the lonely, and the forgotten.
Give
children grateful hearts, patient spirits, and responsible minds.
May our
homes reflect Your love.
And may we honour our parents
as an offering pleasing to You.
Amen.
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